What do you aspire to be?

Writing again...choosing from five ideas...what hit me the most...What do you aspire to be? Now, I am pretty old...will turn 49 in just a couple of weeks...and, due to age, finances, etc...becoming "something" just isn't in the picture. So, what do I aspire to be? Well, I was reading here and there on facebook today. Became friends with someone in our ward, a few splits ago, that I had not seen in years. Her kids are grown, has quite a few grandkids, and is absolutely in love with life. Her kids are all doing great - the last one is yet to marry, but not a problem. Looked at pictures of another old friends family reunion. Her family looks wonderful. Her oldest has graduated from college (Barack spoke at his graduation!) Daughters are beautiful. She has a great hubby and great career that she loves. Also saw relatives of hers...her brother in law was the one guy in the ward that we all were crazy for, in secret. He still looks great. Another friend is so thankful for her daughters. Two are married with kids and one is yet to find Mr. Right.
So, what does all this mean to me? How does it affect what I aspire to be? I first thought "I aspire to be in control of my life!" Ha ha ha. Is anyone really "in control". Sure, some make plans, and work to make those plans a reality. When you are talking about classes, there can be a plan, and an element of control. But, when you are talking about people, there is where it gets a little unclear. I know people who have kids who just do everything Mom wants. They do their homework right when she says, they take the classes she says. They go to the schools she suggests. Sometimes, though, when we are blessed with more independent spirits, there is no control. We try to guide...but they make their own choices. And, in spite of some of the troubles some of my kids have and do face, I doubt that my choice for them would have been any better, and I KNOW that it would not have made them any happier. So, I guess I just aspire to be content, and to feel peace with that contentment. Now, that doesn't mean I am ready for the rest home (sorry Morgan, but the walker will have to wait!)I still want to be the best Grammy ever to All of my grandkids, whenever they come...I want to serve a church mission with Dee someday. I sure would like to be able to someday not watch every penny, or the thermostat, or when I dry my clothes and bake some cookies, but, if I could feel content, like my efforts, though obviously not as great as others, would bring me...contentment. That...that is what I aspire to be!

Refilled and Refreshed

I am the worst kind of Grammy...the kind that just cannot live without her grandbabies! They have lived away for much, if not all of their lives, but not too far for me to get to in a few hours, thanks to a wonderful hubby who drives me there, especially when I am about to drive him nuts! I spent this last weekend reading with a kindergarten grad (who, by the way, is such an awesome reader! I was jut flabbergasted at the reading level he is at! But, I should not be surprised. Adam has always been just that kind of learner, and teacher. He even taught me, when still a babe, how to turn off my computer, and how to start our ceiling fan!!) and a sweet princess, who finds wonder and happiness in just about everything (except being awakened early on a Monday morning so that the family could have fun and bowl for a dollar a game...but had to happen before 8 am!) I hugged, and kissed, and loved, and watched, and snuggled. I played star wars light saber, pretended I was a cow in the lawn, watched the most awesome primary talk given by any grandson on the planet (hey, I am a Grammy...I cannot be biased!! He did give an awesome talk, and read it, and held up pics all by himself!!) I had to be brave when we had to return home...tears from Grammy cannot help matters...and "Grammy Bags" at home make it not so hard to see us go...but thank you, Allison, Mike, and Dee, for enduring me. I am now filled and refreshed again, but never will 4 months pass without me hugging and kissing and watching and listening and just sitting in awe and gratitude to a loving Father in heaven for blessing my life with such a tremendous blessing...to be a Grammy to such perfect grandbabies. And, to you, my sweet Charles, who sits waiting for all of us, I cannot wait to hug you, to kiss you (on the head, of course, if you are like Adam!) and to just be in wonder and awe and amazement at the son of God you are.

"Mama's Losin' It" Assignment

I want to write more, and I found a blog that gives weekly challenges...there are a list of potential topics to write about, and then share on Thursday. Last week, I was going to begin, but the perfectionist in me wanted to pre write, etc. and, since my time is not abundant, I just never did it. So, here is my effort...right off the top of my head...take it or leave it.

The topic I chose: Name your current addiction...

It has been often said that every cloud has a silver lining. Now, our current cloud has been reduced paychecks, and no second...and third incomes (my sweetie is a manufacturing engineer taking a 10 percent pay cut, a private disc jockey with no dances or receptions for the first time in 30 years, and a real estate agent who...well, that is self explanatory!)I have been seeking outside employment, but my 29 plus years as a stay at home mom is, apparantly, laughable, so no solid hits yet. So, we cut...and cut...and cut. No dinners out, no movies, no shopping for clothing, no haircuts, no fancy vacations (well, that is not a sacrifice...we have always camped in tents), and the most obvious...our food budget. This has taken me on some wonderful adventures: hence my current addiction-incorporting the food I get from the Westside Food Bank Food Club and the Westside Food Bank Sharing Cooperative into our everyday meals.

Our menu calendar has been used for many months. I can track sale purchases and plan meals accordingly (and I write on the calendar where the said meat, etc. is...I forget sometimes!) With the food club and weekly food bank, however, I can have a rough plan, but I have to "tweak" constantly, according to just what my bounty is. Two weeks ago, we received an abundance of artichokes. Sweet hubby cooked them up on our outdoor stove and the kids and he had a healthy feast/snack. Sweet potatoes have been turned into muffins, chili, and, next week, enchiladas. Now, I have so many red potatoes, and I refuse to let any of this blessed food spoil or go to waste, that I have learned to make garlic red potatoes, and mashed red potatoes. Tomorrow, I get to try red potato salad! I am so grateful for the internet...anytime I need, I can search and find new ways to use these wonderful treasures.

Now, this obsession does not go unnoticed by my children. Kayty loved the lasagna I made, until it was revealed that the sauce had grated carrots, chopped fennel, and eggplant layered with the cheese and pasta. Nathan looks twice at the muffins I make: bananas were fine, but sweet potatoes were starting to go to far, though he did find that they tasted great. I am often given quite a lot of bread, thus sub rolls are sliced on the diagonal, and made into french toast that I freeze in single servings, ready to pop in the toaster or microwave. I have also found interesting ways to serve yummy toasted rolls, by just buttering and cooking like you would a grilled cheese sandwich. I cooked a load of wheat berries in my crockpot, and then placed them in serving sized bags. These stretch my taco meat, my spaghetti sauce, and there is whole wheat in every bite. Everything I get, everything I search recipes for, becomes a sort of adventure, and it takes me in...I am so addicted.

The silver lining is wonderful, and has given me a chance to try things I would not have tried. It has given my family a chance to eat things they would never have eaten. It has given me the chance to stretch my bounds, to come up with new, and more exciting ways to use and never to waste. Who knew that a trip to a food bank, and sometimes a line to sit and wait in, would bring such pleasure, such knowledge, and such fun...and something to desire more than even chocolate...and I can get little bars of that from the food club and add them to my muffins...ohh, the delight!

P.S. Just got home...have a crockpot out on the back porch, full of Yukon Gold and Red Potatoes cooking to mash later, and another crockpot with sliced apples (Cleaning out the patio fridge), cranberries, honey and cinnamon Dee brought me from India in September. Should go great with the turkey mom cooked for us (she was cleaning out her freezer...what a great lady!)See, more silver linings...and I got MUSHROOMS and Peaches and celery this morning: I hit the jackpot!

Isn't He Amazing

Something very wonderful happened, six years ago today. Adam made me a Grammy! My how he has grown into such an amazing young man! He fills our lives with smiles and wonder, and even teases Grammy a time or two (telling me he has a pet boa constrictor that sleeps on the couch! Fortunately, Papa usually sleeps on the couch, since the said "snake" loves to cuddle!!!)Adam, we are so very, very blessed to have you in our lives!! Happy, happy birthday, my sweet grandson!!

Friend Makin' Monday: Ten Things I Love About Summer

My friend makin' Monday challenge is to write down ten of the things I love about Summer. Now, I live in Phoenix, Arizona...where we call a 90 degree day in June a cold front! However, there are some good things...I just hope I can come up with ten!
1. I get to be warm! I just hate being cold. I hate running in the cold wind. I hate it when I eat my salad at lunch and I have to cover up with a blanket. Summer means no more being cold!! (Except at Church...I just can't figure out how Sacrament Meeting is always sooooo cold!)
2. Eating sugar free banana popsicles! I love them year around, but...now, don't tell anyone, because this is just nutty...I have to sometimes turn the heater on in the car and eat them out there in the Winter. Not in Summer, though.
3. Swimming! I love our pool, and I love coming home from a hot run or hike and being able to just jump in and cool off.
4. School is out! I have always, always loved it when my kids didn't have school. Schedules could relax. No one had to be in bed early, or up early. (Now, I have not had this yet for Nathan. We are on week 2 of Summer, and we will be on the road tomorrow at 5:30 Am for football.)
5. Gardens. We have a great garden this year, and I just love crawling around searching for ripe tomatoes, cucumbers, and such. We even have watermelon growing!
6.Summer clothing is less bulky, so laundry is smaller. (I am starting to stretch in the loving department.)
7.Vacations. Well, ours will, again, be very minimalist. Finances do not allow for anything fancy.I guess Dee and I will just go camping somewhere, sometime.It would be fun to take bikes.
8. Longer Days. The sun is up earlier, which makes my runs a little less scarey, especially since I saw some guys out walking a couple of times the last two weeks and it has made me very hesitant to go run in the dark. Plus, if it is not blazing hot, we have more time to get projects done outside.
9.Yummy veggies. I love veggies, and there are some great Summer ones: bell peppers, cucumbers (our Garden ones are just fantastic!)
10. Summer means that Fall and Christmas are just that much closer!

There...I did it. Now, I think it might have been easier for me to find ten things I dislike about Summer, i.e. no baking, waking up hot at night (may be my age, too!), hot car seats, 100 degree nights, no grocery shopping in the middle of the day because everything will either melt or spoil...but it is good to think positive...right?

Did You Ever Notice

Did you ever notice that, many times, blessings come from our Heavenly Father in ways that we may not notice unless we are looking. Case in point: my dead battery. I walked out the door on Thursday morning...had to go and get Nate's good friend, get them to Nate's school for his football workout for an hour...went to start the car, and....DEAD. I was running late...so I ran in, asked Dee, and switched cars quickly. I was only 30 seconds late for his workout, too! What was the great blessing is that the battery died...IN OUR DRIVEWAY!!! It was a simple fix. We had another car ready to replace, and Dee had an extra battery (uses when they go fishing...some sort of underwater lighting attracts minnows that attract striped bass), so he could get mine running and get to work on time. The challenge was there, but the fix was there too. Dee and I remarked later that we have been blessed over and over lately in this way. We have older cars, which need repairs at times. However, every time there has been a problem, we have been where we could fix it, most often in our own driveway!! Blessings are there...we just have to Notice!

How Was Your Week?

Someone yesterday asked me (I am so sorry if it is you who asked me...I am so frazzled and worn out that I just plain forgot!)"How was your first week of Summer off?" I thought...and thought...Yes, it sure was the first week Nathan did not have school...the first week I didn't have to drive. But, what really happened? Nathan had football camp at Arizona State University. I originally was going to have to drive there and back (out to Tempe...an hour or more away during rush hour!). Good news, though, was that a group of great, wonderful football moms created a carpool. Hence, I only had to get Nate to school at 6:30 a.m. and pick him up at 12:45 p.m. So, I drove to and from his school Monday thru Wednesday...twice a day, just like during school. Then, on Thursday, he had EFY (our ward had been invited by another stake to what they initially said was EFY, but turned out to be an imitation youth conference...a good event, but since our budget is soooo tight, Nate could only attend during the day and didn't spend the night...saved a good amount of $...but he really didn't have that much fun, nor did he get the edifying experience others who could stay all night did...but, I digress...) Again, a wonderful angel in my ward, whose hubby is also facing work furlough, wanted to carpool. I was the drive there mom...Thursday, Nate had football workout for an hour before he had to be at Youth Conference. So, after a car switch, due to battery trouble, I got Brian, and drove them to school...then went to sit and wait for in the Food Bank purchase line (cool weather, wonderful company, and great veggies and fruits when the doors open) while my sweet Mom drove the boys on to the youth conference...another trip to school, mind you. Friday, same routine...but I drove directly TO youth conference...

So, to sum it all up, I drove every day, just like during the school year. This week, he has football workouts everyday, except Friday. Then next week off...my FIRST week of Summer vacation comes...June 15????