What do you aspire to be?

Writing again...choosing from five ideas...what hit me the most...What do you aspire to be? Now, I am pretty old...will turn 49 in just a couple of weeks...and, due to age, finances, etc...becoming "something" just isn't in the picture. So, what do I aspire to be? Well, I was reading here and there on facebook today. Became friends with someone in our ward, a few splits ago, that I had not seen in years. Her kids are grown, has quite a few grandkids, and is absolutely in love with life. Her kids are all doing great - the last one is yet to marry, but not a problem. Looked at pictures of another old friends family reunion. Her family looks wonderful. Her oldest has graduated from college (Barack spoke at his graduation!) Daughters are beautiful. She has a great hubby and great career that she loves. Also saw relatives of hers...her brother in law was the one guy in the ward that we all were crazy for, in secret. He still looks great. Another friend is so thankful for her daughters. Two are married with kids and one is yet to find Mr. Right.
So, what does all this mean to me? How does it affect what I aspire to be? I first thought "I aspire to be in control of my life!" Ha ha ha. Is anyone really "in control". Sure, some make plans, and work to make those plans a reality. When you are talking about classes, there can be a plan, and an element of control. But, when you are talking about people, there is where it gets a little unclear. I know people who have kids who just do everything Mom wants. They do their homework right when she says, they take the classes she says. They go to the schools she suggests. Sometimes, though, when we are blessed with more independent spirits, there is no control. We try to guide...but they make their own choices. And, in spite of some of the troubles some of my kids have and do face, I doubt that my choice for them would have been any better, and I KNOW that it would not have made them any happier. So, I guess I just aspire to be content, and to feel peace with that contentment. Now, that doesn't mean I am ready for the rest home (sorry Morgan, but the walker will have to wait!)I still want to be the best Grammy ever to All of my grandkids, whenever they come...I want to serve a church mission with Dee someday. I sure would like to be able to someday not watch every penny, or the thermostat, or when I dry my clothes and bake some cookies, but, if I could feel content, like my efforts, though obviously not as great as others, would bring me...contentment. That...that is what I aspire to be!