Pouting

I haven't written in a few days. I wasn't gonna write today. Nothin' to say about my life that would edify anyone else's life. Someone I love said something that made me just plain out of sorts. Anger does not enter. This was just an indication of a preference this person had. No big deal to most all of you. I guess it may have just come at the wrong time. No one seems to realize that I do plan things. No one sees that I care about things...and those things are obviously different from their priorities. Two mornings ago, I was grouched at from 4 am on. "Grrrrrroooooowwwwwlll" I leave my exercising to find someone was cold, was missing their blanket, was sure someone had taken it, till I very kindly pointed out it was UNDER their knees! Now, I assure you, I was sweet as sugar and got it out from under the knees, opened it up and dearly covered that cold person. That began a day...and now three days of things that I did or did not do that proved to be an irritation to someone here: waffles for dinner...could me not have them any more-too sweet (an interesting concern, for I had painstakingly made them no sugar, total whole wheat flour and buttermilk I had gotten on clearance last week, and I brushed the griddle with olive oil rather than that awful spray stuff...and they came before the ingestion of 6 snickers, chips, salsa, javalina ribs...and the fact that I keep a menu calendar, and we haven't had waffles for 3 months...and the waffles weren't the only dinner item...we had fresh scrambled eggs and chorizo, so there were other options) Now, I am saying that my feelings are truly MY fault, not the fault of the victim of my trying to save money because we have to live on half a paycheck for the next two weeks. I have found that, as hard as I have tried, I apparantly do not take responsibility for, nor admit to, the things I do wrong...and haven't for 30 years...I guess my efforts have been terribly insufficient in this area, though I have, as of late, taken responsibility for chickens not laying eggs, drawers not being able to open cuz I was painting our room and it wasn't dry so I didn't move the junk back to it's original location, loss of a title I didn't touch, the solar water heater not heating...on and on. This little insignificant request has set off a tsunami of irritation, dark chocolate ingestion (they are only chocolate chips...and I have given up the candy corn...and I try to suck on them, one at a time...unless I am just losing it), talking to myself (which should be nice...as of yesterday, my house is mine all day...no one to mess my clean up!). I have been questioned as to the location of someone's plaid shirt, phone chargers, I have tied a knot incorrectly when someone was hoisting a door so they could paint it...in the rain. I have listened to someone and someone else being totally irritated at the mess the other left (I truly find it interesting that when one makes a mess themselves, that is not a mess, but if someone else does the same thing-but in another color, or with a different tool, that IS a mess!)Those who are in training might be critiquing everything I do, or don't make or cook. I am now afraid to bake anything! No wonder I am just plain pouting about everything...where we go, when we go, who is and is not going. What time. Why go to a parent meeting tonight...heck, I don't know anything except the team mom sent me an email. I don't remind at the right time. I didn't wake them up enough times. I woke them up when I went out to run. Chores not done. Doing too many chores and cleaning up dinner when I should be outside freezing while a kind person (this person truly is very kind!!!) is building something that will be such fun for our family.

So, for now, this non writing effort, I am pouting. Hopefully, I can grow up. Now, again, I am ADMITTING that I am in the wrong. I should be grateful for things being built, for lovely rain (that actually has let up every morning right when I need to run!), for my green paint that my mother in law gave me money for Christmas so that I could buy it...my room is beginning to make me as happy as my living room does (two happy places...Imagine that!)For texting...can't understand a thing on the phone and so I love to text Adam...can't wait till Grace and Joshua can spell!!! So, watch out. I am still pouting...