How Do I Show?

Marriage advice from someone married almost 30 years who is learning every single day that there is so much to being married, and that you cannot sit and just "live" and hope to keep the feelings alive. There have been times that I have been less than twitterpated, and, of course, have felt it was ONLY his fault...not mine. I would pray that HE would see what HE needed to do to improve...Thankfully, a wise, loving, and very patient Heavenly Father answers my prayers...not in the way I would want, but the way I NEED...the answer: you are only in control of you! I can wish, I can get mad, I can complain...but, whatever does, or doesn't happen, I am in control only of me...how I react, and how I act. Now, mind you, I don't always remember this...Again, my patient Heavenly Father has to remind me of this over...and over...and over... I now make sure I LOOK for the ways hubby shows me he loves me...and then I make sure I thank him for this. That happens over and over, if I just watch. He drains the tub, so I don't have to scrub soap scum. He makes sure his stuff is off my island counter when I come in on Thursday morning after I have an early, and long, wait for surplus produce. He folds his blanket and puts it at the end of the bed. He carries his laundry out to the washing machine. He has a "secret surprise" in my pizza oven concrete pour (hopefully, as I said on Facebook, he has not created my tomb! Hee Hee). I KNOW he loves me, when I look!

Now, how do I SHOW? What have I done. Now, as I said, I look for deeds done, and for gratitude shown, as my way of feeling loved. Hubby, on the other hand, is a more "direct affection" kinda guy. So, foot rubs to wake him up. Hugs when he walks in the door. (I tend to be focusing on serving him: i.e. dinner on the table, etc. and then when he wants hug, and I am cooking, I tend to forget....remember, Suzzy, you show service as your love, but he needs a hug and a kiss) So, I am challenging myself...two loves before he leaves in the morning, and two before we eat dinner! Now, how do you SHOW you love him???

How Do I Know?

We are gettin' pretty close to our 30th wedding anniversary...this April 24th...marriage is not a destination, but an experience, and it has to change and grow. I have been complacent, at times, about things. It takes a lot out of you when you are worrying about one family out of state, one child in town making choices you don't understand, helping with the everyday needs of two widowed moms, getting a high schooler to and from, dealing with a child's chronic illness, making sure you don't neglect any, and trying desperately to get along on a lot less money. I found myself searching for answers, and reading about love languages. What a concept. I could figure mine out right away...but hubby...what a surprise! I just never ever thought! It made sense then, and, though my language is different, I have to make sure that I don't only show my love the way I like to be shown love!! Anyway, back to the point of all this...things were crazy Friday, and continued Saturday. My life just felt "out of sorts"...I was sad and depressed. I couldn't put my finger on what was bugging me...and then I came back from picking up...and found
My KITCHEN ISLAND was spotless! Oh, what peace! Sounds crazy to most, I know, but if I can have this island clean, I can think...and my sweetheart knew just what to do to make me happy. He had put away the groceries, cleaned up the dishes, put them away, and wiped it all down. He LOVES me! And then, today, as I was looking out my kitchen window, I saw these:

He was purchasing more stuff to finish our pizza oven one day, and found these bulbs on clearance. He first bought three, brought them home, and we planted them. I don't think he knew how much I love daffodils (Nate tonight asked what my favorite flower was, and when I said they were daffodils, hydrangeas, and sweet peas, he lost it...said it was not allowed to have more than one favorite...guess I messed with the "man code" again!) and he brought more home the other day, and I planted them. It has rained the last few days, and I can see more blossoms ready to burst into bloom. He LOVES me!
He does lots of wonderful things...he cuts wood for me-the stuff that needs to be cut on the table saw; I operate the scroll saw!-he is afraid I will cut myself (this coming from a guy who tried to cut his thumb off last year! He builds me a pizza oven so that I can bake bread in it! All because He LOVES me! So glad he figured out my love language...and it didn't even take a book for him to figure it out! Quite a guy!

He put a love note it a bottle when he was on a business trip in Guymas, Mexico...He had put a note in English, instructions for the finder in English and Spanish, and money for postage, etc...never got it, but it was so wonderful to think that I had a note to me floating somewhere in the ocean!

On Being a Mom

I was talking with some dear friends this morning...the best part of waiting is the wonderful people you meet and get to know! Anyway, we were talking about, of course, our kids, and their lessons, practices, hobbies, loves, etc. I was thinking about all the past years, the homework I have monitored, the stories I have listened to, the papers I have proofread (spelling freak am I), the dance recitals I have dressed kids for, the ball practices I drove to, the band concerts I have heard, the injuries I have transported to the doctor and urgent care, the songs I have listened to over and over on the flute and saxophone and french horn and trumpet and baritone and piano and banjo and guitar and voice, the games won, and lost, the birthday parties driven to, the study sessions, the cookies baked, the uniforms washed, the "lucky meals" that were purchased for-and cleaned up after, the jobs driven to, the caps and gowns, the running across a golf course to find the group so newspaper pics could be taken, the wrapping paper bought...and sold, the equipment located, the snacks made, the music purchased, the performances, the awful red dirt ground into the knees of the white pants that I had to try and get out, selling drinks in the snack shack, team mom, homeroom mom, the state fair cakes driven, the ornaments made, the car parts, the stereo parts, the loud music of ALL kinds, the trophies won, the hits made while I was sitting and covering my eyes-but faithful in the stands, the notes written, the awards, the tears wiped...all is just part of Mom...and all of it, the good, the fun, and the not so happy...would I trade any of it...NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I saw this, and, though I haven't raised an Olympian, I have been blessed to be the mother of six VERY amazing, unique, individuals. And, whether they are recognized by the world, or not, to me, they are ALL gold medalists!

Contest...Of Sorts...Or "Oh, I Need Help!"

This is a contest, of sorts, but the prize, well, my hubby will be the winner of that. I have this unrealistic fear...of making Cafe Rio Pork! Silly, you say, but it is real. I have counseled, over and over, with my ever so expert oldest daughter-who is superb at just about everything cooking- on what and how to do it. And, to be honest, I cannot fail to imitate the "real stuff", for we don't eat out, and so we have never been to Cafe Rio (apparently a shame I should not admit to), so hubby won't know what he is, or is not, missing. So, the contest...post YOUR favorite Cafe Rio Pork recipe for me...please! The only requirement, I have to be able to leave OUT any onions...I don't have time for a trip to the emergency room, a hospital stay for routine tests that show no reason for the condition...hubby is allergic to onions...I can leave them out, unless they are totally needed. And, when I make it...I have scheduled it on my menu at least four times, but had to cancel due to too many leftovers in fridge, and, that "lack of self-confidence/fear" thing...you can have the wonderful feeling of knowing YOU pleased my hubby...and maybe, just maybe even my 17 year old, never pleased but never complaining son! Thank you for your help!!!

Angels!

I love my grandbabies...as I am sure you have figured out by now. However, as I thought of these angels during my run this morning, and knowledge of some health issues that their Mommy has experienced, recently, and years ago, I had to just wipe the tears from my eyes. My angel grandbabies, sent here from a loving Father in heaven, have saved the life of my baby-their Mommy. She is fine, thanks to problems during pregnancy and afterward, that led to discovery, and solution, of things that might have killed her. Oh, thank you, dear sweet Heavenly Father, for loving us, and sending these sweet angels, for us to love and hug and kiss and be oh so very thankful for!

How Often Does This Happen To You?

Taking a break...going through my Google Reader...and find this...This happens to me soooo many times, almost every day, in fact. How about you?

What Sadist Invented These???

Great sale at Fry's...one of those "buy 10 and get $s off" things. With coupons, I got them for a buck a box...and then, when I was putting them in the container, some spilled out...and...I tasted one...and then two...and then four. Now, to justify, they are made of whole grain oats, they have the best chocolate flavor (possibly considered one of those flavenoid things) and they are sprayed with "cereal vitamin juice" letting them be considered somewhat healthy...Who in the world did this to my diet!!!

A Blessed Break

I was checking my email, after chopping and packaging chicken, snapping green beans, and a miriad of other things I start and finish, and saw this.

Thank you, Debbie, for such a blessed and welcome break!

Too Busy In Heaven

Sunday morning, at 4 am, we set off on a whirlwind trip...son, Doran, and his sweet wife, Danyel, providing the "chariot"...to Las Vegas, Nevada to be with our dear daughter, Allison, hubby, Mike, and our precious grandbabies, to celebrate the blessing of the newest one, wonderful Joshua. We arrived at 8am, went to church from 9am to noon, visited at their home for 3 hours, and then set off for home, arriving at the end of the Super Bowl. Tiring, sore (in the sitter zone, so to speak!) but so very happy to see them!

Now, you would think that this Grammy, who had not been near these little ones since early December, would have a ton of pics. However, I got to hold, see school projects, photo albums, play a game, eat lunch, kiss chubby cheeks, have our special "potty talk" (those who have a 3 year old will understand...this is not bad language, but special conversations while "other duties" are attended to on the toilet-very special times!!), and everything I love to do...except get pictures of it all! I was experiencing...and loving every minute. Now, that dear driving son of mine is also a fantastic photographer, so I hope I can snitch some of his pics. Anyway, I hold all the grammy-time close in my heart...it was my piece of heaven!


Papa did not do anything to cause Joshua to be less than happy...needed a diaper change!

Nineteen Years Ago Today.....

An amazing 19 years ago today, Miss Katelyn Michelle Naomi Rice made her entrance, straight from her Father in heaven into this world. She is our fifth child, a sister for Allison after three brothers. In fact, before I even got to hold her, I made sure Daddy called sweet Allison to tell her she FINALLY got a sister! She came on her own terms. I asked Dr. Matson why she wasn’t crying…He replied, “Oh, she’s just angry!” And that sweet little baby, who became “the Empress” ruled our home. She knew just what to do to get EVERYONE to do just what she wanted!

Now, you think that number 5 would have a rather difficult time being known, but not Miss Kayty! She was the only colicky one. (I say to this day that if she had been the first Rice, she also would have been the LAST Rice!) Colic IS real. We walked her, we did anything, and I mean ANYTHING to make her happy. We were all like a bunch of trained seals, while she led our circus. And that continues on to this day. Kayty was the girlie girl, running around in a swim suit 12 months out of the year (and we had no pool then), or that pink Little Mermaid dress that the kids all hated! (It was literally threadbare…don’t know which one was finally brave enough to get rid of it and suffer the wrath that might follow) She loved Naomi, her baby doll…still sits on her bed in her bunny suit that Kayty got for her this Halloween. She hated pants or shorts, loved dresses (now…no way) and her shoes…Oh, her shoes…she just loved them, and still does to this day. I do believe she could provide shoes for an entire Third World Country! She has always loved hot pink, but instead of dresses and bows, it is now teamed with black and skulls. Her bedroom is hot pink and black camouflage with skull accents!And yet, with all this bright, bubbly and ever high maintenance body, there is beautiful music. Kayty has always loved to sing. And she sings and sings and sings. When she was in elementary school, since all Rices had to play an instrument, she played the alto sax Ethan once used…she hated it, and actually was demoted from the intermediate band back to the beginning one. Mom talked with here (heck, I still march in the Play It Again Band every year!) and it was decided that she should try the piano. Man, there was no stopping her then. I am the envy of ALL moms, for I never had to remind her to practice. She just loved the piano and singing what she wanted to while she played what she wanted to. Her attending a performing arts middle and high school made her talents grow. She is now in her second year of college, majoring in vocal music education, minoring in…..Geology! Yep, this singing, sweet, indoor kind of girl LOVES geology…she loves volcanoes! What a hoot!

Kayty works at the perfect place: Party City…She truly is a party in a body with hot pink hair! She loves to buy gifts for everyone. She makes goody bags for tons of friends every holiday. I admit, I was a bit worried last year when she made basketball treat bags for her college basketball class…mostly guys…but they loved it. She loves to buy music, watch movies, drive her car-big brother Doran is painting it …black, with hot pink skulls on it, playing basketball, rocks, Legally Blonde – went to her first musical last year, bought her own tickets and came home full of tunes...carbs of any kind (we all sit in amazement, for she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes just over 3 yrs. ago…endocrinologist okays it, as long as she takes her insulin shots …and even that, she was soooo amazing to me. We were there in intensive care in Flagstaff…they spoke of shots and I just sat there as she slept thinking that there was NO way she was gonna be able to do this…the next day, she gave herself a shot, and me and dad(no insulin, just saline) and she manages it without missing a step…she even kept up her grades and graduated from high school with her best friend one year early!

I find people finding fault with the Duggars, a family who recently had their 19th child. Now, I know having a large family is not for everyone, physically or emotionally, but I can attest to the fact that, no matter how many you have, each one is unique…brings rare things to your life that you would never ever have had if you had not ventured to bring that child to the earth. Kayty brings so much to our home and our lives. You KNOW how Kayty feels. She is all out there…nothing to be shy about or ashamed of. She LIVES what she believes and loves everyone. Her friends are the dearest too her, but she never neglects her family…all of us look forward to her surprises…and Aunt Kayty makes the BEST goody bags.So, Miss Kayty, hurry home from your busy day at school…get the balloons you ordered from your store…and enjoy your birthday party you have invited soooo many that mean so much to you. And thank you for making the last 19 years so full of life for all of us. You, my sweet daughter, are truly unforgettable! Happy Birthday!