Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Change is Good!

I was reading (lurking) on the blog of a young sister in my ward. She said in her profile how she has been married five years, has a wonderful husband, an adorable baby, a beautiful home, many great friends, and lives in the best ward. I just sat there, with tears welling in my eyes. "Why don't I feel the same way,"I asked myself. Here, we live within a few miles of each other. Now, I have been married for 28 years, and I am blessed with a very dear, sweet, and patient man for a husband, but it certainly has not been easy for either one of us. There have been many adjustments, compromises, and simply just giving up to keep peace (not that it's bad to have peace...peace is just wonderful. I have learned that you just have to choose your battles!) We have been through so much together, and have grown from it. But, it seems, every time I think I have it figured out, something changes. People are not constant individuals. They are always adjusting. Just like you don't want to eat the same thing every day, or watch the same television every day, things adjust, based on how you feel and what your circumstances are. So, relationships are always growing, adjusting, tweeking. There are some days I am just twitterpated, and others that, if I have to pick up just one more adult sock, one more piece of dental floss, or...well, suffice it to say that some days are not as good as others. Then, you add to the mix bosses that change, business trips, worrying about six, or rather nine children (Mike, Cameo and Danyel get some of my worry, too), two grandchildren, money - or the lack thereof, health - it's not surprising that the last three times I checked my blood pressure at WalMart, it was high...and that has me concerned. As for friends, I don't have contacts with many in the ward. I actually was going out to lunch with some of them last Thursday, but then Morgan stopped in, and needed to sleep for a few hours before work. So, no lunch. I don't hate my ward, I just don't love it. I go to church, early so Nate can set up. I sit in our row, I listen to Sacrament meeting. Then off to the nursery for the rest of the time. Then home for another week. I should go to Enrichment, but if I visit with anyone and they hear about some things that are going on, I know these sweet young ones would just be terrified of me!! (I don't blame them. I remember thinking that myself when my kids were young and I heard what a few other sisters were going through with their kids!) Now, I know that this is just a stage of my life. As I said earlier, nothing stays the same...everything changes. With some situations, that is hard, but, it can also be something to look forward to. Nothing is so bad that is cannot, sooner or later, change for the better.

3 comments:

T and Jackie Isom said...

My father-in-law told me recently that in order to truly understand a marriage, one NEEDS to be married for a considerably long time. He says he cannot help but chuckle a little when he sees or hears a couple who have been married for a few years talk about how they understand marriage. Those couples, no offense to them, do not quite understand what marriage is really all about. I think you have a very healthy idea of what a good marriage is! Obviously, I have no clue either, but I thought what you said what very true. When it comes to church, I wouldn't worry about that either, you are not alone, because my mom feels very much the same way...

Grammy Suzzy said...

Jackie, you are wise beyond your years!! Marriage is wonderful, and it takes on new meaning every day. I just love it when I drive somewhere early in the morning and see your mom and dad walking together!!

Zac and Catherine Griffith Fam said...

I think that many people write about only the peachy things in their lives on the blogs. I think that you are one of the only ones who is brave enough to admit the truth, but know that we ALL have our struggles and you certainly are not alone! Also I hope you know that I admire you SOOO much and I think you are wonderful! I learned so much serving with you about being a wife and a mother. The way you love your family is so inspiring. Isabelle talks all week long about seeing Sister Rice and I really appreciate you being in there with her! You do not get enough appreciation! Bottom line... I love you! I think you are great! Thanksfor the honest post! :)